Have you ever had your dad tell you, “yeah, college were the best years of my life,” then slyly wink at your blushing mom? There’s this notion that college is supposed to be this magical time of socializing, bonding and making a fodder for embarrassing family get-together stories years down the road.

But I remember my own first year of college, as a dark, chaotic period of my life. When things didn’t make sense anymore. I fell deep into gambling, drinking and overall debauchery—it would take me a year and a half off from school after that freshman year to recover.

What nobody told me back then was that college, though it’s definitely a great place to live and have a great time, is never going to be the way you imagine it as a fresh-faced high-school senior.

But what about those kids around you, in your dorm room, or in your class, who seem to be having a blast off the bat? How are they making friends so quickly? Why isn’t anyone coming up to me?

There’s nothing wrong with you. But maybe you just came into college, whether commuting or dorming, with the wrong mindset. Maybe college isn’t a magical place like your parents make it out to be, that is teeming with people who want to talk and eat with you, who think you’re the greatest person alive. College, many incoming freshmen and even sophomores and juniors believe, is revolved around you. But college is like every other place you’ll ever encounter—the onus is on you to make the most of it.

Here are real-deal ways to make your college life as magical as Camelot.

1. Be a yesman. Like Jim Carrey in his new movie, the goal is to say yes to whatever comes your way. Now, that’s not to say step over boundaries—if you feel uncomfortable with drugs, obviously, don’t do drugs. But being positive for a few weeks really changes the way people perceive you. Though this involves some sacrifice in time and commitment, it’ll make you friends you never thought you’d make.
2. Join the club. Your school most likely has hundreds of clubs of all types of interests. Check out the list and set aside a day, each club, to attend one of the meetings. Don’t forgot to breathe, and don’t be a statue.
3. Talk the talk. At every one of the club meetings you attend, approach at LEAST one person. I can’t understand the people I see who attend the club I run at school, and sit there, watching, and sneak out the back door. This approach isn’t just for the clubs; it’s for the everywhere.
4. Go to class! Yes, this is actually an option. Not only will you learn something, and maybe get a decent grade, you might meet some people who actually interest you. Who knows, I know many of my friends who go out to drink with their study groups every week.
5. Go home. Don’t forget your friends at home, from your neighborhood. They’re the one’s who helped you get to where you are.
6. Enjoy it while it lasts. Four years isn’t a long time. Just remembering that should keep you motivated to…
7. Make the most of it! Whatever you choose to participate in at college, whether it be the theater, or intramural Frisbee, enjoy every second while it lasts.

College isn’t magical. It’s special. It’s your first home as an adult. So the kid mindset needs to go. Nobody’s going to hand it to you on a silver platter; make the most of it.